Thursday, July 31, 2008

Let go...and let God!

I have been locking myself at home for the past 3+ weeks, trying to complete what i had to complete.

The situation was so bad that no matter how much I've completed, more and more kept piling on me.
I was totally overwhelmed with the sheer volume of it.

I completely despised my situation then. And i was totally devastated over the lack of time in hand.

Yups, i'm drowning so badly that i had an emotional breakdown a week ago.

Prior to that, I've tried to balance my emotional turmoil by catching up with my girlfriends to talk about things.

It's been a while since I've left the grotto to attend social calls.

I took a few hours off my Sunday about 2 weeks ago to chill at La Bodega.

It felt so good to be able to update Mich and Shukz on what's happening. And it's so comforting.

Nothing beats a good girly chat followed by delicious tapas and major retail therapy. I felt better during short few hours, until i had to cut the outing short cos I was due to return home to start doing 'whatever' i had to do again.

And depression set in again...

Heck, i even felt guilty for stealing those few precious hours. Stupid or what?! Signs of losing it eh?



Hanging out at our usual Sunday joint...





Eating our fave tapas..





Shopping at the usual places...


I thought I was alright...until last week.

My body finally gave up and i had a nervous breakdown.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. For a good one hour, i just cried and cried.

It was a first for me.

And it was very scary. I never knew I was so exhausted.

I've reached the point that I realised it wasn't healthy to go on like this.

I can't control myself for doing the things I don't like to do. I was almost not 'me' for the past 3 weeks.

It wasn't a pleasant experience at all and I don't wish for anyone to go through this.

I'm so thankful I've got so many supportive friends. Many have been praying for my situation.

Just last Sunday, I went back to church. From then on, I've learnt to cast all my burdens unto the Lord again.

Day by day I'm learning to let go..and let God!

2 comments:

zewt said...

hey... it's wonderful that you went back to church and i hope that you will continue doing so. let's face it... we need God...

and yes... it's not healthy over indulging... good or clothing wise.

Purple~MushRooM said...

What happened?? Work related? If yes, just let it be. Afterall, it's only work.