Feeling panicky

~*~*~*Feeling panicky*~*~*~

i just realised that Jan 2007 is 3 days away. OMG!

and i was thinking that Jan 2007 is still months away. Gosh.. What was i thinking? I feel like the year has ended too soon and i had done absolutely nothing....nothing! i hate feeling like this..

am feeling like a drug addict who has gone cold turkey. this is just too abrupt for me and really, i cant take this!!

i'm nearing jan now and i just feel like it's still april or something... things just whirled by too fast without me noticing and now...IT'S ALL GONE!

please give me back all the sweet nothings that you've showered me with, i'll take it..i'll take it now..i really will..

i wanna just slow down and take time to smell the flowers...i wanna spend time with my loved ones.. i wanna show them that i care and that i love them... i wanna go back to the time when things are just so simple... i wanna be able to just say what i really feel without being diplomatic...i wanna tell some friends just how annoying they are and that they should stop judging others when they themselves are like shit, but i dun have the heart to...i wanna show my appreciation to people i love while they are still here...i want what i missed out...i wish i could turn back time and do some things differently...i want what i want and i want it now...

dad was sharing with us over dinner how my grandma (poh poh, my mum's mum) used to be a super-strong-mega woman. She used to cycle to and fro the rubber estate to deliver freshly tapped liquid from the rubber trees. Not only that, she actually ran from tree to free while tapping so she could collect as much as possible and deliver them to the manufacturer on the said time. She was a super-duper-multi-task-able woman. In addition to that, she had to rush to the pig farm to feed those piggies, rush off to the market to buy food and veges for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family..and also feed/bathe/take care of 6 monster kids at home. She's a strong woman.

now, grandma's legs are certainly not as strong. It disheartens me to know that she's been pretty frail lately. I have to hold and support her whenever she walks as she has very weak knees. This is due to an injury from an accident which she suffered from more than 15 years back.

my new year resolution is to spend more time with my grandparents. I havent been goin to their place as much as i wanted to... I wanna shower them with the same loving-kindness they have given me since the day i was borned. Grandma really dotes on me..Grandpa loves to spoil me with sweet lollies, he still does...

i love you Poh poh and Gong gong.

XOXO