Rest in peace my deahrest Ruby

My heart is very heavy as i'm typing this...

At 7:09pm, I received a sms that read "Ruby just died. Am burying him right now" from Ed.

:(

I just finished working out at the gym and i was in the changing room checking my phone messages as usual before taking my shower. But never did i expect such a message.

I was stoned. I didn't know how to react.

Should i just cry out and let a bunch of strangers see me in that state? or should i just hold my tears and mourn at home?

For a few minutes, i didn't really know what to do. The things i'd normally do - such as taking out my towel and toiletries - couldn't register in my mind.

I wanted to leave the gym immediately but i had to return to the office to bring some stuff home to do. And so, i recollected my thoughts, mustered whatever strength i had left and focused on taking a shower.

I told myself to do things one step at a time. i'll have the time to mourn properly when i get home.

I can't exactly describe how i feel at the moment. I guess i shall just pen everything down and dedicate this very post to my deahrest Ruby.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My deahrest Ruby,

When I first got to know that you have departed, i was crushed beyond believe. =(


I am so sorry that i was not there when you were not feeling well. I am so so so sorry that i did not get to see you nor spend more time with you since I've broken up with your daddy.

I've just got to know from daddy that you were not feeling well about an hour ago, after receiving the dreadful sms. He said that you were inactive today and so he sent you to the vet to check. And Dr Francis said that you're having internal bleeding but he couldn't pin-point the cause. There was no fracture nor anything that he could find.

And so when you were brought home to be monitored. Daddy checked on you an hour later and when he picked you up, your head just drooped. Darling, when i heard daddy said this, my heart was beating so badly, i felt so sick. =(

We're still puzzled as to what caused the internal bleeding.

Did you have a fall? Did a car knock you? Were you involved in a fight? What happened?

Ruby, you were always the quiet one in the family. Though quiet, you were attentive, and you knew how to touch our hearts. You knew when to go to daddy and snuggle up affectionately and when not to do so. You were the peace-maker and you were ever so docile. You're truly very special.

Ruby, I just want you to know that you will be dearly missed. And you'll always have a special place in my heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ruby (right).

Ruby (far right) with his siblings.

After a bath.

With love

Daddy's affectionate boy.

Rest in peace my deah.

Dear heavenly Father, I ask of you to take care of my dearest Ruby. Take him to heaven and provide him with a lovely new home. I now put him in Your utmost care, Lord. Grant the rest of us with the strength to live through this traumatic moment and heal our hearts. Amen.